Knowing Gnome

by Knowing Gnoming

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about

To know gnoming you must know a Knowing Gnome.

credits

released August 25, 2013

Ecclenser the Water Bearer (Mike Maas) : Production, Synthesizers and Keyboards, Electronics, Percussion, Electronic Drumset, Vocalizations, Air Organ, Djembe, Guitar

Astralgia the Alchemist (Silas Be): Percussion, Electronic Drumset, Vocalizations, Djembe, Congas, Air Organ, Keyboard, Kalimba, Guitar, Harmonica

Special Thanks to : Wandering Gnome the Bard (Barret Lione-Seaton), Gnome Chomsky the Wizard (Ben Seidman), Anders the Architect (Drew Yerkes) Ye ol' Sparge Danceu the Master of Lore (Adam Stanceu) Bartleby the Jester (Nick Eannelli) and El Jo Libre the Muscle (Joe Conti) for participating in the never ending search of Knowing Gnoming.

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Knowing Gnoming Madison, Wisconsin

To know Gnoming you must know a Knowing Gnome.

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Track Name: Treetalk (intro)
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Track Name: Knowing Gnome
To release the power within these leaves, make forth with flame IMMEDIATELY!
Track Name: No Gnome Meditation
Hey I think this guy is trying to meditate.
Hey guy you trying to meditate, man?!
(repeat)

Wanna beer?
Track Name: There is a monkey inside my shorts
There is a monkey in my shorts.
Track Name: The Dime
Poem : Astraliga

I was walkin' around
Saw a Dime
Immediately I snatched up that dime
and thought I might go to the Dime Store
so I could Spend it,
but it was closed.
Sign said, "Open Tuesday through Sunday, Closed on Monday."
Today was Monday
"Monday!" I exclaimed, "Who's ever closed on Monday?
Monday's when everyone goes off and spends their Dimes.
That's bad for business."
So then I was pondering about what to do with that dime,
just wasting' time
till I saw a mime
and he said, " Why don't you give it to me?"
"Whoa Whoa Whoa!" mimes don't…
"No stupid. Me….Give me the Dime."
I looked down and saw a cat.
I was so relieved that it was a talking cat and not that mime that I said, "Sure."
Quickly I came to reason and said, " No Way Cat! You're gonna spend it on your
Damn dirty milk habits you dirty junky!"
Then he bit me in the left leg so I kicked him in the eye and said, "Sorry."
But he bit me again, in the right leg now, so I kicked him in the rump and he went
Soooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring
all the way across the street and I didn't feel so sorry this time.
All that made me pretty tired, so I put the Dime in my sock and fell asleep.
14 years I slept, standing up, dreaming about dimes and mimes and damn dirty junky cats and how, just like everyone else, I wanted to spend my Dime on a Monday.

I woke up exactly 14 years later.
It's amazing how time flies when you're trying to figure out how to spend a Dime.
I was eager to spend that Dime at the dime store, but it was closed.
"Monday again!" I thought
I gotta put this dime to use
It wants to be used.
It yearns to be used!
So I flip it up into the air.
Heads I give it to charity, tales I give it to the mime.
Who wasn't there anymore but I didn't know that at the time.
It doesn't matter either way……

It never came down.
Track Name: Losing my Mind, Beyond the Stars
Mission Control
Mayday….Mayday
Help me
I don't know where I am or what I'm doing
Losing my mind
Don't know where I am
Beyond the stars
Beyond the galaxies
No Help

This is wild

All I hear out here is DRUMS!
Drums and Cymbals
Distortions of time and Space

Oh my, what is this?
Contact?
A new race?
A new civilization?
Somebody to help me through my long arduous journey?
No.
Menacing Aliens.
Aliens with Bigger Drums…….Louder Drums.

Then come the other DRUMsssssss -satsatsatsaststttatatatata-

Faster and Faster
Slower and Slower
Track Name: Gnome Tripping to the Liquor Store
First thing I did when I got back (takes sip of beer) of course I immediately called Pete,
and he said I’m fucking exhausted. About five minutes later he said, “hey let’s go liquor shopping!”
Alright, which ones cheaper wicks or Ottos? Seems Ottos would be cheaper.
Pete, Fifteen minutes later he was on the corner, unfortunately his mother made him drag Maya along with him. I immediately said, "What the fuck is Madame Floofenmyer doing here Pete?"
He said, "My mom insisted, she said maybe Adam can play her while you’re shopping for the liquor," (chuckles) and I said, "We’re going to a fucking liquor store Pete, this isn’t France, can’t exactly bring a dog in there." Pete made a face which basically said, "tell it to the judge."

When we got there he thought one of the clerks was giving him the queer eye, and he said, "You better bring my I.D. in, one of the clerks is kinda looking at me like we’re trying to pull something here." (sips beer) Took his id, took out mine went in.
First thing he had asked me to do was piece a liter bottle of Grey Goose vodka, he handed me forty dollars and he said if it’s under thirty, buy it. Walked in there, 29.98. I said, "Fuck that," looked one shelf down, Stoli, 22 dollars a liter, not 28 dollars for a three quarter liter, 21 dollars for a liter. I walked back out, I told him why don’t we just… I told him the price and I said, "Forget that, let’s get a bottle of Stoli and a couple of Belgians," and he said "What do you mean by Belgians?"
"It’s a sprecher Belgian ale, it’s called abbey triple,"

"And you guys are familiar with that one!" (chuckles).
"Highest alcohol content they make, god I love that stuff.
In fact my mom thinks that’s why I like it. SHE’S WRONG!"

So I plopped down the booze and the IDs and the money, and the first clerk says kinda has this quizzical look on his face. -Okay, why the bloody hell is this guy showing me two IDs?-
And the other clerk, the woman, who had been looking at pete said, "His friend out there."
It wasn’t actually spoken but you could tell she was thinking in her mind just in case we thought they were pulling anything, that kid does not look twenty one out there. (sips beer)

Ever so slowly, walked back to his mom’s house, we were nearly there and Madame Floof saw something. I thought it was a bird. Pete said, "It was probably a rabbit."
She broke out of her collar and went after it, thirty seconds later she came back to us, nothing in hand. She hadn’t caught it. Spent the next two minutes running in circles around Pete trying to get her collar back on her.
Goes back into the house, got into the Stoli and the night wore on.
I was laying in his leather chair. Pete started asking me various
questions about my life, what I planned to do, what I was doing.
I was pretty out of it and he fell asleep on his leather couch with his shirt off. He passed out although first he was leaning up very uncomfortably up against his balcony door. He woke up went to the couch and fell back asleep 15 minutes later. I kicked the couch once I told him I was leaving and walked away.

"I’ve blended two events here… but suppose that works better actually…" (chuckles)

As I walked out I found on the table an open ceramic container which contained weed which had been given to Pete earlier in the night by the gentleman ON MY LEFT!!! The cap wasn’t on it. I was like, maybe I should do something about that. His mom’s kinda crazy about that sort of thing. Did a cursory search for the lid. Not finding it, I figured (dismissive noise) I’d better get out of here stumbled home.

My mom had gone to sleep, thankfully. (chuckles, sighs)
Wrote her a detailed note : "Went nuts with the alcohol, and all was good."

-"What the bloody hell are you doing?"-
Track Name: Treetalk (Full Version)
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